Okay, I’m going to be honest. When I started Get Your Sh*t Together 7 years ago, I started it wanting to help bridge the gap between stress and physical health. I mean, I had my own journey with stress ruining my physical health.
Since then, I have worked with countless leaders, helping them overcome their own health issues that stemmed from stress. But I also started looking at the key behaviours that could show stress that didn’t solely involve someone’s health.
Because hey, once someone’s health starts to deteriorate from stress, you’re starting to push a HUGE boulder uphill. Usually, what happens is that the person ends up getting sign-off from work.
So instead, I started looking at the 7 key habits, aka 7 Deadly Signs that every stressed out manager does.
So, let’s look at them and maybe you can spot the behaviours in yourself or maybe in your senior leadership teams.
First Deadly Sin: Sacrificing sleep
Because, of course, you do.
You have a team, they have needs.
You have deadlines.
You have targets.
How are you meant to get that all done without? Sacrificing your sleep?
Well, that’s the age-old question, right?
But why is sacrificing your sleep so bad?
Okay, let’s look at how sleep directly impacts your ability to be a leader and, I don’t know, human?
The early stages of sleep help your body physically recover and repair.
The middle stages help your brain process and sort information.
The later stages, especially REM sleep, help you regulate your emotions and handle stress better.
So skipping sleeps leads to?
Reactive leadership (snapping)
Memory lapses
Brain fog
And of course, you’re setting yourself up to burnout
(If you want to see if you’re already on the road, take the Your Burnout Score)
Secondly Deadly Sin: Sacrificing your health
So what? You have cold? Meh, “I’ll be right”
This mentality is what a lot of leaders have.
But what happens when that mere cold turns into something sinister?
What happens when there are no warning signs until it’s too late?
Let’s be honest, work is important, your team is important, but so is your family.
Not taking care of your health is selfish.
There I said it.
Third Deadly Sin: When you let stress spill over
Okay, we’re entering disastrous water.
What happens when you’re at the end of your tether and someone in your team:
Makes a mistake?
Asks a question you deem “silly”?
When you’re receiving innocent feedback?
When a problem arises that you don’t have time to tackle?
The snapping, the passive-aggressive comments, the disapproving sighs…
Look, we’ve all been here, and sure, we might have our moments, but when those moments become the norm?
But what if you can control all this at work, what happens at home?
Kids walking on eggshells?
Your partner having to watch you unravel?
Shutting down and withdrawing from hobbies, family, and friends?
More often than not, we allow stress to leak into our personal lives because we feel safest with the people we love.
Stress impacts all aspects of your life, from how you show up for your team and how you interact with your loved ones.
Fourth Deadly Sin: You’ve normalised being “on”
What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Check slack? Emails? Whatsapp?
What about when you’re on holidays?
Out for dinner with the family?
I mean, you have to be “on” right? Because what if you miss something?
It’s gotten so bad that no one complains anymore, it’s now just become a part of your “personality”.
And then when you FINALLY decided to switch off and relax? You’re flooded with guilt, shame, FOMO, what ifs?!
It’s exhausting.
And it’s not how to balance life.
I know work/life balance is getting a bad rap right now, but it is a real thing and it IS important.
How many things have you missed out on because of being “on”
(Sorry if you feel judged)
Fifth Deadly Sin: Your stress is now everyone’s journey
This is more than letting stress spill over…
Your worry and concern are now morphing into how you manage.
Micromanaging?
Constantly checking in?
Having to be involved in ALL decisions?
Because what if someone screws up? You don’t have the time, energy or capacity to solve them.
You have to be involved. You have to know what’s going on.
You can’t relinquish control at all.
Maybe it comes from a “good place”.
But realistically, what it leads to is:
A culture that is based in:
A lack of trust
A loss in turnover
A lack of autonomy
A VERY disengaged team
And let’s not forget a loss of your own sanity.
Being a “control freak” is not the answer, but is a massive response to stress.
This isn’t fun for anyone, including yourself.
The Sixth Deadly Sin: You stop asking for help
Whether it’s because you’re too busy, or because you don’t want anyone to know you’re not coping… the end result is the same:
You stop asking for help.
And at first, it doesn’t seem like a big deal. You tell yourself you should be able to handle it.
You’ve got experience.
You’ve got a team.
You’ve done more with less before.
But this is going to get in the way.
Because here’s what actually happens: the longer you white-knuckle your way through the stress, the harder it becomes to admit you need support.
Shame creeps in.
Pride digs its heels in.
And next thing you know, you’re isolated in your own leadership bubble.
When you’re drowning in pressure, anxiety and the endless “what next?”, help is not a luxury. It’s a necessity.
You need support.
You need real conversations, safe spaces, and people who see you beyond your job title.
But you won’t get any of that if your default response to stress is to shut down and soldier on.
You don’t have to prove anything by suffering in silence. (No medals handed out for burnout.)
Ask for help early. Ask for help often. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you a better leader.
Seventh Deadly Sin: Working in pure survival mode
Look, stress can get to a point where you’ve slipped into pure survival mode.
And this is takes on a life of it’s own.
You can’t think past yourself.
Every decision is based on your survival.
Every conversation is based on your needs.
Every interaction is based on making sure you can get to the end of the day/week/month.
Now, you might be thinking that this sounds like the most horrible manager in the world.
But the thing is, when stress has gotten to this point, your behaviour isn’t rational.
And most importantly, you can’t lead properly.
You’re not doing this maliciously, you’re just not able to see things any other way.
And this, my friend, is a very dangerous place to be.
Your business is at risk.
Your team is at risk.
You’re at risk.
Okay, you’ve terrified me. What next?
Well, you could be sitting there thinking that everything is about to fall apart. And I’m here to tell you, if things don’t change they will.
BUT that’s only if you continue to ignore all the warning signs from your health, your team and your family.
Every sin mentioned here is reversible.
Yes, you will have to take accountability and take action, but you can absolutely reverse all of it.
And it has to start with you.
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
The way forward isn’t complicated, but it does require intention.
Build small daily habits to manage stress.
Learn to shift how you respond to pressure.
Build your resilience muscles so stress doesn’t break you.
What Can I Do Now?
Maybe you’ve been reading all of this and nodding your head and want more information for you and your team.
Option 1: Taking the Your Burnout Score, that way you can see where you’re starting with.
Option 2: Book in a call with me to get a little more information about you can be doing for you and your team.
Option 3: Book in a talk/webinar to start highlighting the effects of stress on everything (health, mind and business)
And suppose you’re looking for a way to connect with other leaders on a similar path. In that case, I’ve partnered up with the Braver Leaders Team and we’re hosting an event: Doing Braver Sh*t Together in June, a no-BS event built to support leaders’ mental health, practical skill-building, and real community. It’s about humans leading humans, together.
If you’re ready to develop stronger leadership from the inside out for yourself, your team, or your entire organisation, let’s talk.
