Here’s a not-so-fun fact:
Most people don’t do anything about their stress, anxiety or burnout until it’s wreaking havoc on their lives. It’s impacting their businesses, their jobs, their families, their relationships and of course, their health.
But why do high achievers do this? Why do they wait until everything is on fire before they seek help?
This is a brilliant question and one I’m going to attempt to answer.
Look, I’m someone who has fallen into this trap… twice.
The first time I burnt out, I had no idea what was going on. Were there warning signs? Absolutely, but I ignored them, denied them, or simply put off looking for a solution because I was “too busy”. Which didn’t really help.
And I’m definitely not the only one.
Every time I do my talk “The Five Stages Of Burnout” I get everyone to write down when they start to notice their signs of stress… And every time, 90% of the audience won’t notice until Stage Four or even Stage Five.
Firstly, let’s address why we don’t notice the warning signs before we jump to the warning signs.
Why Don’t We Take Stress Seriously Until It’s Destroying Us?
Adrenaline / High Pressure Addiction
99.9% of my clients fall into this category. They’ve crafted out a life where they perform well under high pressure. The higher the pressure, the higher the stakes, the better they perform.
And it’s addictive. When you’re running from pure adrenaline, you can focus, you’re motivated, you have loads of energy, and you can achieve more in half a day than most people can achieve in a week.
But here’s the problem—this creates a false dichotomy.
It’s the belief that you only have two options:
- Operate at high pressure and succeed
- Slow down and risk falling behind
That “all or nothing” mentality becomes your default setting. And if your success is tied to that way of working:
a) you’re not going to realise it’s a problem, and
b) you’re far less likely to believe you can succeed any other way.
Slowing Down Causes Anxiety
This one is intertwined with the above. If you’ve created a belief system that your success is because of high-pressure situations, slowing down will cause stress and anxiety. And this is multifactorial.
Firstly, if you have a belief system that you perform well under pressure, then it doesn’t leave room for performing in calm situations. And secondly, when a lot of these people do slow down, their brains spike, flooding them with problems, noise, other issues… anything that they’ve been ignoring for a period of time.
I have previously been the queen of using work as a way to distract me from anything else that’s happening. And most of my clients have done the same thing.
The Ever-Moving Goal Post
We’ve talked about this in The Sneaky Habits That Lead To Burnout, but I think it deserves another mention.
What happens when you’ve been successful, especially at the beginning of any project, new career, promotions, etc., is that you can create unsustainable habits that have led to that success. Or well, that’s the perception. So when you achieve your first milestone, instead of going back to the good habits that you promised yourself you would, you instead move the goalpost to another milestone (whether that’s financial, scale, target or whatever).
It’s never-ending.
D is For Denial
There is a massive issue when it comes to stress, anxiety and burnout, especially for high achievers… and that’s denial.
This was my biggest issue when I was going through my bouts of burnout. I was in complete denial that:
a) I was stressed, and
b) that stress could really impact your health.
Heck, I was in my mid-20s—how could it have such an issue already?
- Stomach issues? Must be my diet.
- Lack of sleep, aka insomnia? Well, I just don’t need as much sleep as everyone else.
- Feeling overwhelmed? Well, that’s a good thing because it means I’m doing my job.
- Panic Attacks? Must be the morning coffee I’ve been having.
- Doctors saying I was stressed? Of course I’m stressed! I have cold sores, stomach issues, constantly battling shingles and all my joints are swollen…
And that’s just scratching the surface.
I’ve had clients normalise:
- Constant headaches.
- Heart issues.
- Eye twitches.
- Brewing in frustration.
Just to name a few.
Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy
And finally, comparison.
How many times have you compared yourself to someone else who is in either a similar position to you or a bit further along? I would say most of us have. It’s really easy for stress to be knocking at your door and for you to simply ignore it because so-and-so doesn’t seem to be affected by stress, so why should you?!
This is a really dangerous mindset because it doesn’t allow you to truly reflect on where you’re at, why you’re at where you’re at, and take stock of where you’re at. And that… my friends, is why it’s truly easy to ignore that stress is impacting you before you reach burnout.
The Wake-Up Call Before the Breakdown
Burnout doesn’t show up out of nowhere.
It doesn’t crash through your door on Day One.
It arrives slowly, disguised as over-functioning, high performance, and doing “whatever it takes.”
Burnout is the destination. But the journey?
It’s made up of subtle signs. Tiny cracks. Patterns we normalise or excuse.
The earlier we can see the signs, the earlier we can intervene.
Not with a breakdown, but with boundaries.
Not with a collapse, but with clarity.
I talk more about this in The Five Stages of Burnout blog post.
This post is actually a two-parter. Next week, I’ll be sharing part two: The 8 Early Warning Signs of Burnout High Achievers Ignore.
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Reach out to me if you or your team needs support. OR check out 121 coaching or talks for your team. — I’m always here to help you Get Your Sh*t Together – Literally and Figuratively.
P.S. Which stage do you think you’re in right now? Or take the Your Burnout Score here.
