Okay, let’s chat stress and the idea of it being a positive force.
I spent most of my late teens to late twenties using stress as fuel to get me from point A to point B. Was it useful? Absolutely. I finished a double degree while setting up my first business, achieving high distinctions and scaling the business nationally at the same time.
In all honesty, it was addictive. The energy, the focus, the drive, and the clarity were unlike anything else. And from that point on, I was constantly trying to chase that high.
But the most distressing part? It wasn’t sustainable. After about six months, that energy, motivation, clarity and most importantly, my drive began to fade.
That’s when exhaustion, doubt, negative self-talk, and frustration kicked in. There were days I couldn’t even get out of bed because of the crushing weight of it all.
I felt betrayed, angry, and desperate. I wanted to get back to that flow state, the focus, the motivation. And I know I’m not alone in this experience. Every single one of my high-achieving clients has shared a similar story.
Their perception of stress as a positive, something that gives them an edge or drives success, has real, tangible short-term outcomes. That’s why it becomes addictive.
So, can stress ever be good?
Let’s back up: What is stress, really?
Stress is a natural response to challenges, demands, or perceived threats. It’s your body’s way of preparing to act, whether the danger is physical or psychological.
It triggers the “fight or flight” response, releasing adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones sharpen your focus, increase your heart rate, and prime your body for action.
This mechanism has kept humans alive for millennia. And in short bursts, it’s incredibly effective. In fact, short-term stress can actually be beneficial.
It gives us:
- Energy
- Focus
- Clarity
- Motivation
- Drive
- Even a temporary boost to the immune system
But chronic or overwhelming stress flips the script.
Instead, you get:
- Exhaustion
- Brain fog
- Low motivation
- Weakened immunity
- Irritability and emotional volatility
And here’s where high achievers get caught in a trap.
How high achievers trick themselves
I have a client who knows they perform exceptionally well under pressure. So much so, they either seek it out or subconsciously create it.
They don’t celebrate their wins.
They never take their foot off the gas.
They are either sprinting a marathon or putting out fires.
This is exhausting. And nearly every single one of my high-performing clients does it.
Why? Because they’ve come to associate pressure with performance and success.
The neuroscience behind it
Here’s where it gets interesting: stress can feel rewarding, especially in the beginning. The brain releases dopamine in response to challenge, accomplishment, and problem-solving.
Over time, your brain learns to link high-stress situations with achievement and praise. That combination wires a reward loop:
Stress → Performance → Praise/Success → Dopamine hit → Repeat
You start to chase the high of stress like a drug. And like any addictive cycle, your tolerance increases, you need more pressure to get the same outcome.
Eventually, rest and calm don’t just feel foreign; they feel unsafe. That’s because:
- The brain craves consistency
- Repetition creates neural pathways
- Your nervous system adapts to chronic stress as a baseline
When stress becomes part of your identity
If you believe you have to be under pressure to succeed, your brain and body treat that belief as truth. You unconsciously build habits, routines, and behaviours to keep that system alive.
Suddenly, anything outside of that framework, rest, calm, slowing down, can trigger anxiety. You might:
- Struggle to take a proper break
- Feel guilty or anxious on holiday
- Ignore illness or burnout signs
- Take on intense projects just to feel alive
- Tie your self-worth directly to output
I remember when I was managing my anxiety. It had been my default setting for so long that when I finally began to feel calm, I actually became anxious about the calm. That’s how deeply wired my association between stress and safety had become.
So what’s the solution?
The first step is awareness. Recognise that the stress-reward pattern exists and that it’s not a personal failing, but a brain-driven habit loop.
The second step is rewiring. That means:
- Challenging the belief that stress equals success
- Practising recovery as a high-performance strategy
- Reinforcing calm, focused productivity (yes, it’s possible!)
- Building new neural associations between rest and reward
The good news? The brain is plastic. You can rewire it.
Yes, stress can feel addictive. But your worth and success aren’t determined by how much pressure you can withstand. Sometimes, the bravest and most powerful thing you can do is slow down.
Don’t know where to start?
Let’s say this has hit you… Hard and you want to know a little more.
First step could be getting the lay of the land with Your Burnout Score. You find out where you’re at on the path to burnout.
Maybe you’re wanting more? Maybe 121 coaching is what you’re looking for? Why not book in a call to discuss where you’re at with me? Book here
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