Something a little different today…
Most people know me as the burnout coach. If you’ve ever heard me speak or followed me on social media, you know what I’m about. Heck, you might have even seen that infamous picture of my face completely covered in cold sores.
And some of you may know that I struggled with an eating disorder as a teenager.
What I’ve never really talked about, though, is the connection between the two and how my burnout and eating disorders were deeply related.
The Desire for Control
Before we go any further, this isn’t about sympathy. I share my experiences because they might help someone recognise similar patterns in their own life.
It’s easy to separate an eating disorder from burnout, but in reality, they were cut from the same cloth. For me, both were rooted in a deep desire for control, success, and perfection. Both were my way of managing stress and anxiety.
I always joke that I came out of the womb anxious. A big part of why I didn’t even consider my anxiety was an issue was because I had always lived with it. And honestly? It drove me to success. Why would I question it?
But when I was 15, life became a little too much. My parents had split up, I moved interstate (this was when I was living in Australia), and I had attended three different high schools. Everything felt completely out of control.
So I did what sadly a lot of people do. I started to control the one thing I could control. Which was my eating.
Eating Disorders... More Than Just Weight
Something people don’t always understand is that eating disorders aren’t about wanting to be thin. For me, it was about control.
The less I ate, the more in control I felt. The more weight I lost, the more successful I felt. But if the scale moved the “wrong” way, I felt like a failure. Cue an avalanche of self-hate chatter…
(Maybe you can relate to that…)
This cycle went on for seven years. I never got the support I needed. But at 22, while running my first business, selling diet plans at my local gym, I had a realisation, that I was a hypocrite. I was starving myself while telling my clients to fuel their bodies. Why was it okay for them, but not me?
That moment was a turning point. I started challenging my disordered thoughts, realizing I deserved to eat. It wasn’t easy, but I pushed through…
From One Unhealthy Coping Mechanism to Another
But here’s the thing, just because I stopped starving myself didn’t mean I had developed healthy coping mechanisms for stress and anxiety.
Enter burnout.
We often think of burnout as something caused by chronic stress in the workplace, but there’s another side to it. One that’s common among high-achievers, Type As, and perfectionists. These are the people who sprint toward success while desperately trying to outrun failure.
For me, work became my new coping mechanism. Instead of seeking validation through food (or lack thereof), I found it in productivity and achievement. The more successful I became, the worse it got.
- Stressed? Work harder.
- Anxious? Work even harder.
- Overwhelmed? Don’t stop working.
I didn’t know how to stop. And no one saw it as a problem. In fact, I was praised and reinforced for working long hours, pushing through and doing what it takes…
And let’s just say burnout symptoms are normalised. So, I kept pushing, until I pushed too far.
The Patterns We Don’t Recognize
Do I still get stressed? Of course,I live in the real world. But I’ve had to learn better ways to cope.
Now, as a burnout and business coach, I help my clients recognize these patterns in their own lives. Whether it’s pushing too hard, struggling to say no, or tying their worth to their work, I help them break the cycle, set boundaries, and build a healthier version of success.
If any of this hits home, ask yourself:
- Are you working toward success, or just running from failure?
- Do you love what you do, or are you chasing achievement to prove something?
- Or both?
Because when success is just a way to feel in control or worthy, it will never be enough. And figuring that out? It changes everything.
If you’re not sure where to start, reach out. We can set up a confidential call.
Whats Next?
April is Stress Awareness Month, and it’s the perfect time to start having those tough conversations about burnout. Not sure where to start? Check out the different talks and workshops we offer, or feel free to set up a chat with us here. Let’s work together to tackle stress and burnout head-on!
